Letting Go

Last week I fought with two of my closest friends. Both fights needless to say were deeply upsetting. Sometimes I have to wonder if its worth the pain honestly. Why not just put up with their flaws and thoughtless behaviour (as I see it)? When it comes right down to it, I love them both dearly and couldn't imagine life without them. But it appears that in the second case there is a real chance of our relationship just fading away. Awful awful thought.
Anyway, the first fight helped clear the air a bit and also I think made the two of us closer. The second fight was rather different. I dont usually fight with this friend because we think alike on so many things and in some ways I think this fight hurts more because of that. It was all about her making time for me and she didn't feel that there was any lapse in that department. To be fair to her, she has a boyfriend now, who I suppose is higher on her list of priorities, but I didn't ever imagine that she would be the kind of person to forget her friends for that reason. After all I've known her for close to 20 years. But one lives and learns. After a lot of thought I realised that no true relationship can be created or maintained by force. So I am letting go. If my friend ever needs me I am there but otherwise I am maintaining a low profile. Policy decision.
I dont know why I am sharing this really since even writing about it is upsetting. But maybe one day I can read this again and be better able to understand myself and the nature of relationships. I hope!