In the land of Balle Balle

Punjab. What began life as a trip to Delhi to promote mouldy medical books became a road trip across Punjab to promote said books (some things in life dont change). So three loud, boistrous Delhi sales guys and one bemused non-hindi/punjabi speaking editor visited one town and five different cities in as many days --
Ambala (Definitely a town, this one; cant really say much about it since I only saw it late at night when I was too sleepy and tired to look around much. Oh yes, we had cheese toast and north indian coffee for breakfast. Rather yumm.)
Amritsar (Unbelievable. This is the city that has the Golden Temple???? How can the people here display such artistry, sensitivity and CLEANLINESS inside a temple and then live in an utter dump outside?? How??? Have they got a collective split personality?? And they still have cycle rickshaws, that feel like they are going to topple anytime!!!! OK, I'll calm down. Also went to the Pakisthan border to witness a completely juvenile show of might/patriotism/whatever. Poor Pakisthanis. We keep playing boring hindi songs at the border. No wonder they hate us. Anything else..... ah yes, had completely divine, melt-in-your-mouth paneer. Sigh!)
Jalandhar (Something approaching modern civilisation. Felt a bit queasy though. And oh yes, visited a college called Lovely Professional University - I kid you not!)
Ludhiana (I'd been told that this was the Mercedes capital of India, which was quite strange because I saw only one Merc. Maybe I was just in the wrong part of town? No butter chicken here. Maggie noodles rules! And now I understand why people use cycle rickshaws - when an auto hits a bump in the road it feels like its entire hind quarters is going to fall off. Also understand why north indians are so loud - the autos are deafening.)
Patiala (Finally a city with traffic lights. And parks. Fancy that! No Patiala peg for me though. Stayed at a non-smoking, non-drinking, non-meat, non-clean, nonsense hotel. Couldnt wait to leave.)
Chandigarh (I really really like this place. Its well laid out, green, full of blossoming flowers and is altogether so cosmopolitan you can forget you're in Punjab. Would go back there anytime!)
So when the sales guys asked me what I thought of the North, the kindest thing I could think of to say was that I was very glad I lived where I lived. And I really meant it. I am used to thinking of Madras as a fairly ugly, dirty, dusty, noisy place but now I realise that its squeaky clean and gentle and even sophisticated compared to what I saw in Punjab. Not to deride North Indians, I mean, clearly they like living the way they do, otherwise why put up with it. But give me the South anytime!